A partner with an artificial limb - Danny’s story

What’s it like to have a partner with an artificial limb? Danny (33) and Glenda (32) have been together for more eight years. Glenda was born with one short leg. Danny talks about their life together.

Glenda has a congenital defect in her right leg. Her kneecap is smaller than normal and her fibula is missing, which means that the lower part of her leg is slimmer than the other. Apart from that, her ankle is also at the front and she has a small foot with only three toes. As a child, Glenda underwent treatment to have her short leg lengthened 5 centimetres, but it’s still shorter than her other leg. To make life easier, Glenda wears an artificial limb over her short leg.

Love at first sight

“I met my wife in Spain,” Danny explains. “I saw her on a beach, wearing a bikini, so I saw that she had an artificial limb right away. I didn’t know Glenda yet, but I saw a young boy staring at her and asked him: “What’re you staring at?” That was the first time we met”, Danny remembers with a smile.

It proved to be a good icebreaker and their love quickly blossomed on holiday. Did Danny have to get used to the fact that his girlfriend had a prosthesis? “Her disability has never been a problem for me,” he replies. “Glenda can do anything and is a real go-getter. Besides, she’s very open about her disability, so our relationship is really quite normal. We’re just like any other couple.” Danny and Glenda have now been married for three years and have two children together, ages three and six.

Splitting chores

Does Glenda’s artificial limb affect how you split chores in the family? “We look out for one another, like any couple would. It's all very natural. When the children were small, I’d bottle feed them at night to save Glenda the hassle of putting on her artificial limb. I carry the heavy bags when we go shopping, but I’d probably do that even if Glenda didn’t have an artificial limb. Sometimes, when Glenda’s relaxing on the sofa after a long hard day, she’ll ask me to get her something to drink. Now that we have children, she does tend to get tired a bit quicker, which she notices because her leg will rotate inwards. After a long day, she really needs some rest. The better we get to know each other, the more natural it gets: we know exactly what to expect from each other.”

Comments and remarks

For Glenda, openness and honesty about her disability have always been very important. “If someone asks her about her artificial limb, she won’t hesitate to just pop it off. She really doesn’t care,” Danny laughs. “She even got a tattoo just above her prosthesis, to divert people’s attention to the tattoo and away from her prosthesis.” Danny has realised, though, that not everyone is as open about their artificial limb as Glenda is. “This makes it difficult to connect with other people with a prosthesis, which is a shame, really, because sharing and exchanging experiences and tips can be so valuable.”

The future

How do Danny and Glenda see the future? “Glenda's motto is: seize the day,” says Danny. “Of course, I do find myself thinking about the future every now and again. How long will she be able to continue using an artificial limb? Will she ever be wheelchair bound? Will her leg have to be amputated in the future? There’s no point fretting and worrying about it all the time, though. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

Openness

Is there a tip that Danny would like to give to other partners of people with artificial limbs? “Wow, narrowing it down to just one tip is a hard one”, he begins. “I’d like to say: try to accept it, but everyone is different. Some find it easier to accept than others, so my biggest tip would probably be to just be open about it.”